How to make the law work for you


            Posted on Jun 18,2007    .     

            How to make the law work for you.

Q. My 3-year old son lives with his mother, my ex-girlfriend. Whenever I ask for visitation, she threatens she'll claim I beat or threaten her.

Since I'm in law enforcement, I'm worried she'll hurt my ability to work which now pays me about $100,000 a year. My ex works as a nurse and makes good money and I pay child support.

I want frequent and long visitation with my son, including overnights and weekends, holidays, etc.

What can I do?

E.R., Wellfleet

A. Since you are paying child support, I assume you've been to court and paternity has been determined. If not, file a petition to establish paternity. Then the court will also fix child support and visitation.

If you haven't had much visitation yet, no matter what the reason, then you'll have to prove yourself to the court. Be ready to start off slowly with one or two afternoons a week for a few hours, then build to a longer time during the day, then to a full day, and so on.

Ask that all transfers of the child between you and your ex occur inside the local police station or fast food restaurant so you have witnesses. And, on returning your son, give his mother a note stating what you did, what food was eaten, etc. so she can get more comfortable with the process.

Also, if possible, for obvious reasons, never have your weapon with you or be in uniform during these exchanges.