display kids' activity chart at both homes

            Posted on September 11, 2016 

Display kids’ activity chart at both homes

Q. I’m in the middle of negotiations with the father of my children. Besides child support what terms and conditions should I be asking for?

A. This is the sixth article about what to have in a Joint Managing Conservator agreement. Last week, I left off at paragraph 5(a)(5), while discussing a daily activities chart for each child. For emphasis, and so that all the children can see who has how many points, put their charts in a place that is frequently visited and visible. As for the next sub-section:

5(a)(6) Tape each child’s chart, even if incomplete, to the refrigerator door. Each time the child completes a segment without a problem the JMC makes a check mark on the chart. One checkmark equals one point.

Tip: in spaces that didn’t get a checkmark draw a bird, flower, or whatever you want so the child won’t be able to put in a check mark when you’re not looking.

If you and the child didn’t initially agree to get that chart divided into all parts of the day, here is one technique to try. After a few checkmarks have been earned, ask the child if it might be a good idea to finish the chart so, in that way, the child can earn more points. Usually, charts quickly get fully drawn.

(a)(7) The JMCs shall agree on how to be sure each child understands, even if just a little, that: (i) good behavior equals one check mark for that part of the day; (ii) even after a “mess up” during any part of the day, more points can be earned during other parts of the day; and reinforce that (iii) the more points the more fun things the child can choose to do.

(a)(8) The two JMCs shall do their best to ensure the same or very similar charts for each child go up in each household.

This helps to prevent a child from manipulating each parent.

Remember, as some now forgotten person once said: “When you have children you need a heart that never hardens, a temper that never tires, and a touch that never hurts.” That and having your own stash of ice cream in the freezer will get you through the day.